Romance.
Cody - You are so stoned. You’re blitzed out of your mind.
Me - What are you talking about? I didn’t smoke anything.
Cody - You’re drunk. Blitzed drunk.
Me - Am not.
Cody - If I say you are…
Me - We should have a drug smorgasbord at our wedding.
Cody - What?
Me - Like, to save money on wedding costs, instead of catering.
Cody - Let’s cater our own wedding. Everyone says we should be caterers anyway.
Me - Okay. But let’s cater it with drugs.
Cody - Like a punch bowl full of pharmaceuticals?
Me - Exactly like that. Here are the uppers, the downers, the hallucinogens. You can have anything you want as long as you don’t somehow cost us any money.
Cody - Okay. Let’s get married in Vegas.
Me - I was thinking more like, wedding here. Where it’s cheap and you can have your family since that’s your thing or whatever. And then honeymoon Vegas! Let’s have a weed wedding cake.
Cody - You don’t even like pot.
Me - Exceptions. Weed. Wedding. Come on!
Cody - Let’s buy a cake from Wal-Mart.
Me - Funfetti. And put weed in it.
Cody - That would be a lot of weed. Like a pound of weed. Do you know how much money that would cost?!
Me - Well, babe, weddings are expensive. How much were you thinking we’d spend on our wedding?
Cody - Five hundred dollars.
Me - (Laughter)
Cody - Is that too much? Four hundred dollars?
Me - Well, we’ve got about 30 years to save up, so that should be doable.
Cody - Did you just say three years?
Me - I believe I said 30, but what does that mean? You wouldn’t marry me in three years?
Cody - Marry you when I wanna marry you!
Me - I guess I’ll assume that we’re over then, being as when you aren’t marrying me, which is all the time that we aren’t getting married, is a time in which you don’t want to be with me.
Cody - I marry you.
Me - When did we start having this conversation? Let’s stop!
Cody - Ohhhhkay. I got your nose!
Me - You are so stoned.
Cody - I’m blitzed.
Me - Me too.
