The more I find myself doing things I have no interest in being part of, the more I realize this is what the world is. Very few people are doing what they love, what they want. Most everyone is settling. For job security, for a steady paycheck, for the sake of not being alone, for the cheaper model… absolutely every part of life is a matter of endurance to settle. It’s exhausting, not running after anything. Didn’t we used to have dreams? Didn’t we chase impracticality with a megaphone wrapped to our wrist and a balloon tied to the finger that told us to never forget what we were meant to do?
I can’t help but think the sixteen year old version of me is resting inside of my bones, infesting them with assorted diseases with every piece of her that I give away for the sake of “growing up.”
Back up plans are incredibly responsible and by no means do I disagree with their necessity. It’s when Plan B consumes all else and you realize you’ve stopped fighting for anything beyond what’s in front of you that is what makes me want to peel back my flesh and hope for a new coat.
Does everyone cycle back to point one several times, or is this just that hobby I have that should be exploded? … Either way, I have to go to that job that I absolutely hate tomorrow, and it’s 4am.
So, conclusion.
