Me: So apparently Flocko is marrying Balzer and Jenny. FLOCKO. Who never wears a shirt and drinks Clamato from 10am on.
Cody: That’s the best news ever. I’d have Flocko marry us. It’d be so memorable.
Me: How is this legal? Flocko does tattoos! Why is he now marrying people on the side?!
Cody: Probably something he did online. That’s awesome. Baby, Flock is going to marry us.
Me: Pfft. Marry us. I’ll marry us. Do you want to be married? And there it was.
Cody: I’ll get under you.
Me: … ?
Cody: Your skin. Flock will marry us!
Me: Anyway, here we are at Wal-Mart! The pride of America. Consumerism!
Cody: Yes, yes, yes! YAAAAAAH!
Me: You are legitimately scaring me. Did you take something while I wasn’t looking? Are you okay? Do you need medical attention?
Cody: VITAMINS! DAHH!
Me: Wow. And we’re done.
Cody: Shhh. Flocko will marry us.
Me: I wish you’d stop saying that. But okay. Flocko can marry us.
Cody: Smoke a blunt with him first.
Me: Fantastic, hopefully my dad joins in.
Cody: Our wedding!
Me: Hey look, razors.
